"With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose." (Unknown Source)
"There are times in everyone’s life when something constructive is born out of adversity…when things seem so bad that you've got to grab you’re fate by the shoulders and shake it." (Unknown Source)
The above quotes are definitely true. I need to grab my fate by the shoulders and shake it really hard. Then I need to grab a hold of the horns of the altar and not let go until I break through. For I will be honest with you, this brain tumor has really taken me on a emotional roller coaster ride. I have my ups and downs with this thing. More with the medication I believe, than the tumor itself. Just to type this blog has really been a challenge. Talking for that matter is a challenge at times. I can't seem to process my words. What I am thinking I can not process either in speech or typing. My mouth and fingers can not process my thoughts. In others words, my word processing is really a mess. At times I will stutter or stammer or just can't seem to get anything out that I am trying to say. When typing, I will type things backwards and I spend more time correcting my spelling than anything else and I lose my train of thought really fast these days. So blogging has not been easy for me of late. That is why I have not been posting. I have sat down to do so but I have gotten so annoyed because I can't focus and the spelling is horrible so I just get up and walk away.
I have been so frustrated for several weeks now with this in-ability to communicate. My word processing functioning ability is being slowed by the tumor and the medication. Then I realized I am facing adversity here. I have been prayed for. I believe God is going to take care of me. I must not give in to doubt. I will grab my fate by the shoulders and shake it. Something constructive will be born out of my adversity for the Kingdom of God just like it did for Joseph in Genesis 50:20; "But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive".
I must not let my frustrations get the best of me for I know that God has everything under control. I choose to treat what has happened to me as a gift. It is an opportunity to grow and not an obstacle to stunt my growth. Romans 8:28 says “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose”
I will overcome, for this too shall pass!
God Bless You All and have a Happy New Year!!!
9 comments:
Jolene,
I can imagine your frustration at not being able to speak and write what you would like to say. Yet through it all, I see you have the right attitude. May God give you the tenacity to cling to the things that be of faith, namely His Word, your prayers and the prayers of others who are praying for you. I do believe as you stated, that God will bring good out of your situation and that your winter season will pass. I will continue to pray and believe for God's best for you.
Love,
Carol
Your frustrations are understandable. Your faith is beautiful. You are amazing. Thank you for being you.
I'm praying for you.
Jolene - I am glad you are back to blogging. Keep your mind stimulated with thought processing because it will help. It is as though you are exercising your mind when you blog. Being around you I feel so bad when you struggle with words, but I know if you keep your faith in God, He will see you through. I love you and hope the New Year brings healing and victory.
Carol, It is frustrating when trying to speak to someone and the words won't come out. Actually sometimes it is quite embarrassing. Sometimes I feel like a blundering idiot when trying to speak to others. Then I will have good days here and there.
I do appreciate all of your prayers. Mainly that I keep a good attitude and don't get so frustrated. There is a sister in our church who sings a song about "It's In the Attitude" That is what I have to work on right now is my attitude.
God Bless You,
Jolene
Rochelle, Though my frustrations are understandable I think my attitude has been wrong. I am working on it though. I know a bad attitude stinks in the nostrils of God so I must make a few adjustments here. It is like being angry but sin not. Well I can be frustrated but not have a bad attitude. Know what I mean?
Thank you for your prayers. They are appreciated and needed.
God Bless You
Jolene
Sis. Allard, You are my dearest friend in the Lord. You give me so much strength and encouragement through your songs, when you get up to say a little something in church, in your blogging, or when you are just talking to me. You just lay it all on the table. No beating around the bush. You are so open and honest. I guess you will never know how much you really inspire me will you?
I will keep my faith in God for that is all we really have to hold onto. For Hebrews 11:1 says; "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Then Hebrews 11:6 goes on to say; "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." Yes, I must keep my faith no matter what the outcome will be.
Love you,
Jolene
Just swing by to tell you that I'm praying for you. :) Happy New year!
I am so sorry about that dreadful tumor and can only imagine your frustrations.
I will keep praying for you...and when you feel like it, it is good to read your posts. I always enjoy them.
Love in Jesus our Master.
Shirley Buxton
www.shirleybuxton.wordpress.com
Sis. Buxton, Good to hear from you. I appreciate your prayers. I believe 2008 is my year for a great miracle. :D I go back the first week of February for another MRI to see if the tumor has grown and if so how much. So I am hoping for a good report. I am praying that the bugger has shrunk. I hope so with all this medication I have been taking.
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