Tuesday, March 31, 2009

My Grace IS Sufficient!


It seems my insurance doesn't want to pay for another MRI so they wanted more documentation proving it was necessary for the need of another one to be done. So I was called in for an emergency follow-up. My appointment was yesterday, Monday, the 30th of March. My Neurosurgeon was very upset that this had to be done. I really didn't feel like making the drive since I had a full blown out migraine but what can one do when the insurance company thinks they know more than the doctors or the person who is suffering with pain, right? My neurosurgeon made the statement that since I do have a brain tumor and they already have pictures of it on file, why in the world does the insurance company need more documentation? Don't they understand there is a need to keep track of the tumor's growth to make sure that there is no serious complications arising? To see if surgery is going to be needed or not? This is a brain tumor we are talking about not some freckle for Pete's sake! Yes, he was very upset.

Testing and documentation was done for the benefit of satisfying the insurance company. Doc took one look at me and knew I had a migraine. He plugged me into some wires with this goop and measured the strength of the pain by the wave patterns on the print out. Not good! The doctor was not happy that I have had a migraine for 27days straight now. So he gave me a little something to help me out. I went over to my daughter's and slept like a baby. It felt soooo good. I woke up around 6:45p.m. and went home and back to bed. Problem is I woke up around 2a.m. this morning with another migraine and it still hasn't let up. I am scheduled for more very extensive testing. He believes it has nothing to do with the brain tumor. So we will see.

This morning as the pain was so intense, I told the LORD, I can't take it anymore, He replied, "My Grace Is Sufficient!" Immediately I felt the presence of the Lord near and the pain began to subside to a dull throb. I do serve a GOOD & LOVING GOD!

As I lay there on my bed, I began to think about my pain and each throb as it would slice through my head, I began to think of Calvary and the pain and suffering that Jesus went through for you and me for the sake of our Salvation. Now, think of the very worst pain that you have ever, ever suffered and multiply that by 1000 and then maybe you will realize just how much He really loves us. To think that He would be willing to suffer so much pain and agony to take upon Himself OUR sins, OUR punishment, OUR beating, and to bear OUR cross that day at Calvary.

As the pain was so excruciating in my head and each throb would pound, I tried to compare it to each strike of the cat of nine tails that struck the back of my precious Savior. I tried to imagine it ripping the flesh off my back as it did His that day. I tried to imagine my blood running down my back onto my legs and feel my insides being ripped apart and exposed as my flesh was being torn away by each strike. The piercing pain that would shoot through my head, I would compare to when they pierced my Lord's side. Then I realized, Lord this is NOTHING compared to what you have suffered for me and you did it all in the name of LOVE. There is nothing that we go through that HE hasn't suffered and that HE doesn't understand. He knows our every pain, heartache, disappointment, sorrow and HE cares. Yes, His Grace IS Sufficient! But it doesn't stop there. For as the first song below says, He gives us Beauty for ashes and the second song says, He turns our mourning into dancing and our sorrow into joy.

As Easter is quickly approaching, let's remember the purpose of the cross and give Him thanks for what He suffered and endured for the sake of our Salvation. Then let us rejoice to know the He is ALIVE and that we too can make it through whatever comes our way. We are over comers in Him. His Grace IS Sufficient!


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7 comments:

Just a thought said...

Pain is no fun! Been there doing that. I am so sorry to hear of your battle with the insurance, “gate keeper.” There have been so many times I have both Thanked Jesus and my bride for her knowledge in dealing with these, “Gate keeps!” I have found that His mercy is all sufficient.

We will keep you in our prayers;
Mervi & Virginia

Carol Connell said...

Jolene,

I so appreciate your wonderful attitude and spirit. You have given us a wonderful key here in going through our trials, which is seeing them in the light of the cross. You are in my prayers. Love you!

Jolene Harris said...

Mervi, again I say thanks for your prayers. I as well, have been praying for you and Virginia. I know that the both of you know exactly what I am talking about when I mention "PAIN". I am sure many of my other readers do as well. Thank God that His Grace is Sufficient to see us through it all. We do serve a Wonderful God and for that I am so very thankful.

I am so looking forward to seeing you both this coming Saturday. Make sure you do not leave until we get to talk, OK? love you guys much.

Jolene Harris said...

Sis. Connell, your prayers mean a lot to me. I do covet them. I will tell you this, when I began to compare my pain to that of Christ's that day on Calvary, I looked at it in a whole different avenue that's for sure. Made me feel sort of like a complainer instead of someone who was grateful for all that He has done for me. Know what I mean? After that I just felt like I grew so much closer to my God and so much more thankful for all that He suffered for my salvation. I do love Him so.

Catherine Roseberry-Meyer said...

A few weeks ago I went to an ordeal, amazing you mentioned the same thing I did then, looked up to Calvary...
Sorry you are having problems with insurance, health problems are enough to deal with!

God will see you thru,
Catherine

Catherine Roseberry-Meyer said...

Ha! My brain is still not quite up and running 100% yet! See I can't write correctly? LOL

Jolene Harris said...

Catherine, yes, the insurance company can really add to the frustrations when one is already dealing with an illness. Like you said though God will see me through. That's the advantage of being a child of the King. :) He will ALWAYS make a way where there seems to be no way.

Don't worry about the spelling. My brain is never up and running at a 100%.