Saturday, October 13, 2007

Just Listen And Obey

I had been having severe pain in my neck, so my primary doctor gave me several injections of cortisone, over a period of time, in the area where the pain was located. Then he decided that it was time to do an MRI of my neck to see what was going on in there. My insurance first wanted him to do x-rays. So he did. Nothing was found except a lot of swelling. So they said he could do a cat scan. So he did that. They still refused the MRI. So after arguing with them for about 3 months he decided to send me to a neurologist. He said that the insurance never denies them an MRI. So off I went to see the Neurologist.

When I got to the neurologist's office he began to ask me many questions. Where is your pain located? Do you have head-aches? Where are the head-aches located? How often do you have them? On and on went the questions. I thought they would never end. I thought good grief dude. I came in here to get a simple MRI of my neck and I am getting the third degree. Enough already!!!

So after being put under the spot light, (so to speak), he leans back in his chair and says, "I want to do an MRI of your brain." Well that took all!!! My doctor failed again. He sends me in here to get an MRI of my neck after fighting with my insurance for 3 months and thinks he is going to outsmart them by sending me here and now this nut wants to do an MRI of my brain and not my neck.

I looked at him and very politely said, "Sir, the pain is in my neck. I feel as though I am being rung out like a dish rag at times and can't take it." I get numb down my left arm and feel like thousands of pins and needles are pricking me between my shoulder blades. I am sure there is something going on in my neck. At times I want to take my head off and through it across the room."

He is sitting there writing on his note pad and it doesn't look as though he is even listening to me. I sat there for a few moments in total silence. About the time I am about to ask if he heard me he looks up and says, "I understand Mrs. Mendoza but I do not like the answers to some of my questions. They tend to cause me some worry. For now, I am writing you a prescription for physical therapy for you neck and I want an MRI on your brain as soon as possible.

"Doctor, I have had cat scans before and MRI's of the brain in the past and everything was fine. I have complicated migraines that causes temporary paralysis to the left side of the body that last anywhere from 2 hours to 78 hours. I know what is wrong with me. I have seen 7 different neurologist in the past including the specialist in San Francisco and they have all given me the same diagnosis. The pain here today is in the neck." He asked me when I had my last cat scan and I told him about 6 weeks ago. He wanted to know if he could take a look at it and I told him sure go ahead.

"Like I said Mrs. Mendoza, I understand you have pain in your neck but again, I have reason to believe we need to do this MRI of your brain." At this point I felt like telling him I don't have a brain and it is a waste of time. So let's just get on with the MRI of the neck thank you very much. But I knew I was going to get nowhere with him. He just thought he knew it all just because he went to school and had some degree title attached to his name. So I took my little prescription paper in hand and left.

I got in the car and shoved the prescription in my purse and drove away thinking all the time what a waste of my time and my doctor's it was to even go there. Then the Radiology place called to make an appointment with me for the MRI and I actually put it off for two weeks. They told me the doctor wanted me to come in sooner but I told them they had to wait two weeks. I was really considering not going in at all. Then I received a phone call telling me that the neurologist had looked at my cat scan and wanted to know if I had gotten my MRI yet and I said no. They wanted to know when I was going to get it done and so I told them soon. The doctor got on the phone and proceeded to tell me that he saw a spot on the cat scan that he felt needed further checking into so I needed to get that MRI done as soon as possible.

I honestly have to say it did not concern me at all because they had found a spot once before and then decided it was from an old injury and the spot he was talking about was in that same area located in the back of the head. I decided to go ahead and get the MRI over with and move on. Then maybe he would give me an MRI of my neck. You all know the outcome of that MRI report as I have already posted on that in "Life With A Brain Tumor"

I have been thinking back on this conversation quite a bit lately and I must say, BOY WAS I WRONG! It is his calling in life. He does this everyday. This doctor knows what to look for and he sees the signals and he knows the warning signs that signal when something is not right. Something is wrong and we need to get on it right away before it is to late. He can detect that things are not as they should be in a person's life just by the way they answer the questions he ask. The way they walk and talk.

That is how it is with our Pastor. He is our spiritual neurologist. That is his calling. He knows when there is something wrong in our spirit. The man of God in our life can discern when things are out of balance in our walk with God just by the way we walk, talk, attend the house of God and the way we worship when we are in the house of God.

The pastor can tell us what it is that we need to do and we will argue "But pastor I don't have a problem with that" We don't see what he sees. Like pastor preached the other night, he is up on the wall watching for our souls. He can see much further than we can. That is what he is suppose to do. When he comes to us and tells us that we need to stay away from something or someone or we need to change something in our life, we need to listen. If we don't we are headed for spiritual disaster. The pastor will then tell us that we need a spiritual MRI. We need to find an altar and let God search our hearts, minds, and souls for anything that is not like God. That is a spiritual MRI. Then we need to under go surgery and let God remove all those things from us that are not like him.

If I had not gone to get the MRI I would not have found out about the tumor while it was small. It would have continued to grow and then it could really cause me some serious problems and maybe even death. Now that we know it is there the doctors will be keeping a very close eye on it. I am on medication and will be having MRI's to monitor the growth. If it becomes alarming to big I will have to under go surgery. It is a good thing I listened to the neurologist. I could have walked away and said "Nonsense, I don't need this MRI. I am fine the way I am." It is the same way with our walk with God. Listen to your pastor! Listen to God! Get the tumor of sin out of your heart while it is small before it grows into something that consumes your life and overpowers you to where you no longer have control of your own life or even worse causes you a spiritual death.

Bottom line is, my neurologist was right and SO IS YOUR PASTOR. So don't become a Pain In The Neck! We need to learn to JUST LISTEN AND OBEY! My niece, Yvonne Hinshaw wrote a poem that sums it up like this:


Hush The Blood Is Speaking

I heard it calling and beckoning me
Let me cover you child and set you free
Instead of listening I turned up the music of life
I was happy where I was to heed the voice would bring strife

What is this you ask that is speaking to me?
It’s the blood that is flowing from Calvary
I watch as it trickles from the cross to the ground.
I turn to run and get away from the sound

I don’t need you I cry I’m fine this way
But the blood continued calling everyday
You need this my child you can’t live without blood
Let life flow through you from the crimson flood

I tried to talk louder to drown the noise out
But the blood cried louder it began to shout
You can’t silence me no matter how strong your will
The louder you get I’ll get louder still

Just hush when the blood is speaking and let it work in you
For the blood will be your strength in everything you do
Without my blood you will spiritually die
Just let me cover you I heard the blood cry

I finally stopped running I had become so weak
I heard a voice whisper I have the strength that you seek
I turned to look and there was the blood
I knew I couldn't out run Calvary’s flood

I cried out cover me with the blood so strong
Let it cover every sin every wrong
I’m tired of running and tired of seeking
I heard a voice say hush when the blood is speaking

10 comments:

Jana Allard said...

This sermon wasn't dessert. It was meat, veggies and taters. I've been telling you, I think you are a preacher. :) Are you sure you aren't running from a God's call?!?!?

Jolene Harris said...

Sis Allard, I ain't saying anything. I laughed at you for saying that once, not doing that again. I am only sharing what is on my mind (well, only the thoughts that is, don't think you want me to share that other thing that they found on there, now do ya? tee he he he he)

Done argued with the neurologist and I was WRONG. So I'm through with that. But I think, now did you hear me? I said, I THINK I am just a thought sharer not a preacher so that is what I am doing, sharing my FOOD FOR THOUGHT. Thanks for the compliment though. Love you bunches.

Yvonne said...

I'm beginning to agree with Sis. Allard you a preacher sistah! lol I loved this post thanks for sharing my poem. . .Love you lots.

Jolene Harris said...

Love you too Yvonne. It is a good poem and as I neared the end of my thoughts your poem came to mind. It just seemed to go well with my thought and that is when I called and asked you if I could post it. Thanks for letting me use it.

Catch you later. Stay true to God. Love you bunches,
aunt Jolene

Rochelle said...

I'm with Sis Allard. Wow. What a message! Uh... I mean, post! :)

Preach! :)

Jolene Harris said...

Thanks Rochelle. I honestly don't know what to say (can you believe that?) :-0

Uuuummmm, it was just a thought I wanted to share. Glad you enjoyed it.

Anonymous said...

Jolene,

I don't know if you're called to preach or not, but God does give you some wonderful insights, and it is a blessing that you share them. Thanks for another great post!

Jolene Harris said...

Carol, that's it right there. God definitely gives me the thoughts. I sure could not come up with this on my own.

I don't know about the being called to preach either, don't think so. Maybe speak or teach but I do better just putting my thoughts down on paper or blogging.

I have been praying for God to use me though and for His will to be done in my life. I want to be open to His call and a willing vessel. So who knows?

Jana Allard said...

Jolene - God is using you through this blog. There are many people who read and never comment. You may be helping more than you realize and God is answering your prayer to be used of Him.

Jolene Harris said...

Sis Allard, I have sat stagnated for too long now. You know the situation that brought me to this church and the condition I was in when I came here. Man that seems like so so long ago. Reminds me of the song (Don't remember the title but it goes something like this) When I look back and see where He's brought me from.
It's a mighty long ways from where I used to be.

He has brought me a mighty long way. My daughter, Kellie and I were talking the other night and she was telling me how much she enjoyed my blogging. I told her that to me it is like writing a diary but it is like an open diary for all to read.

If somehow I am able to bless others through my blogging then to God be the glory for it is He who gives me the thoughts to put down. I do, however, want to do His will for my life whatever that may be.